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4/10/2006 How are you feeling? I'm feeling good. I'm trying to nurse this back injury. I've been trying to get that shit straight and get myself together so I can start doing some damn shows and stay on this Bo$$ Hog shit. Did you get that shoveling the snow from your grandma's driveway? (laughs) I've had this since high school, and it just flared up out of nowhere. The doctor told me there would be times in life when it would flare up. I woke up on New Year's Day and felt some pain and it got progressively worse. I've been laid up in the crib since January. I'm starting to feel better. I'm ready to hit the road, have some fun, and make sure people hear this Bo$$ Hog shit. How did the Bo$$ Hog Barbarians come together? Me and Celph-Titled have always been friends. We were talking at a CMJ party and we started talking about typical gangster rap shit, like Ice Cube and NWA. He was like, "I'm from Florida, so I like Poison Clan." Then we started talking about C-Bo, E-40, and we just got real deep and obscure. Everybody's sitting around us looking at us for the music we make, and they didn't expect us to like all that shit. After years of trading tapes and CD's, we started working together. Everybody told us we sounded good together. We decided to do an album together. We didn't want to do it all in one night, but really spend a year working on it. Not only did we work together as a group, but we made all of the beats real funky and pimped-out. All the cursing and all that is excessive. We made our dream record. This is something that we had to sit down together and do, and I'm glad we did. How's the response been so far? The response has been half and half. It's much better than I thought. I thought we were going to get hate across the board. People think it's fresh. We've always talked our shit, dissed women, and cursed, and we've always done it over hot beats. The beats on here are pimpish. Don't expect to hear beats in the same style that we've always rocked over. Everybody is used to me telling stories, but this is more fun. It's the same, but it's different. It's what we normally do to the fifteenth-power. We made this funky as a motherfucker. The response has been surprisingly good. I thought it would be a lot worse with the hate. How was it working with Celph? At first, it was tough. I'm not even going to lie. I'm a workaholic and I'm a hermit. When I'm working on an album, I'm used to being the man in charge. I'm used to always being in control of everything. For the first time in my career, I'm not in control. If I want a beat on the album, Celph has to also like it, and vice versa. I've never had to do a project where I had to meet somebody half-way. It was a challenge. I got the beat from the Beatminerz, but I didn't like it until Celph said he liked it. I had to respect his vision. Plus, we're completely opposite in work schedules. I'll wake up at 6:30 and work to 3. Celph is going to bed when I'm waking up. He'd call at 8:30 when I'm getting my day started. When I'm going to bed at 11, I'd call him and tell him what I needed him to do. Not only did I have to respect his vision, but I also had to work on opposite schedules with him. But we got it done. We did a lot through the mail. He had to wake up early when I came to Florida because he knew we had to be in the studio because I was not going to work at 10 at night. What kind of beats did you want to have for this project? We wanted to make some pimp-funk shit. Not totally out of the range of what we do, but different. Out of all the beats on the album, you know they're J-Zone beats, but they're not the same samples. The bass is heavier and the drums are different. It's still J-Zone. And with Celph, you wouldn't even think he did the beats he did. You have to double-check the credits to see if Celph really did that. He's so versatile that he can make an E-40 beat and then make one for Aesop Rock. At first, we were going to try to get some outside beats, and we told the producers what we wanted, and people were sampling accordions and giving up some boom-bap shit. We wanted some pimped-out, greasy shit. We didn't want beats that sounded like "Pimps Don't Pay Taxes." Nobody seemed to understand what we wanted. I thought it would be nice to get a beat from an outside source, so we got the Beatminerz. That's the one track that doesn't have the same sound as the other tracks. That's the only outside beat and we purposely got no guest appearances. Unless we could have gotten Too Short, Tim Dog, Spice 1, Suga Free, or Willie D, we didn't want anyone. There are too many guest appearances now anyways. Your raps are always misogynistic and comical, but it seems you take your beats real seriously. You have to look at it being an artist versus work ethic. In terms of my subject matter and the fact that I'm clowning the girls and bugging out, don't take that seriously. That's comedy. You're going to put the disc in and enter my character. It's fun and entertaining. Don't take what I say too seriously. But when it comes to my work ethic as a producer, I want to be taken very seriously. I take it as a full-time job. I've made seven albums in seven years. If I was bullshitting as an artist, I wouldn't be able to do that. When you listen to my records, you can tell that I put a lot of work into it and take a lot of pride in what I do. I make sure that I have fun while I'm doing it but also that it's done right. How's the production game been treating you? I've done some stuff, but not as much as I used to. I've been doing a lot of stuff that's not for records. I did a song for a Sprint commercial that aired during the Super Bowl. Obviously that's a good pay day. I want to get a chance to use my talent outside of the Hip Hop game. I've been working a lot with the Hieroglyphics. I've done shit for Casual, Del, and A-Plus' album. I'm doing some stuff for Vakill and Vast Aire. I did two remixes for Tha Alkoholiks' "Flute Song." I'm also trying to get a team together, but for the most part that's still up in the air. A lot of times you end up working with people just to make money, but I want to get to the point to where I work with people that I really like, not to say I don't like who I work with now. I'm thinking about moving to Atlanta and getting into a new scene and working with some new artists. I like everyone that I've worked with, but I think I have the versatility to where I can get into a new market and do something else. I could make some crazy South tracks. I'm not doing as many beats, but I'm more focused with trying to work with different types of artists. You and MySpace seem to have a rocky relationship. (laughs) Two years ago, somebody set up a phony J-Zone MySpace page. I have dial-up internet. My time on the internet is limited. I check my email and go to my three or four sites and get off. People were coming up to me and telling me that they tried to add me as a friend and I declined them. Somebody who knew me well said they sent me an email and they got a weird response. I said, "What the fuck is MySpace?" I finally went and investigated. I thought it was a dating site. I didn't know what it was. I thought it was like Friendster. I was dating a girl and she said my page looked like it could be me. I looked at it like, "Damn." I'm not really into that shit but I didn't want anybody acting like they were me and ruin some things for me. I got the phony page taken down. I didn't want to go down like that. People were telling me how they were getting shows, selling beats, and meeting up with old friends through MySpace. I figured I might as well use it to my advantage. I have a basic page, but it's been a good promotional tool and it gets more traffic than my regular site. I don't get too caught up in it and go looking for chicks on it because the internet is crazy. I dissed MySpace on "Hell No, Ho!" but now I have a real page on it. What's the url? MySpace.com/jzoneoldmaid. That's my official page. You'll see the picture of me with the two asses. That's the official J-Zone MySpace page. Have you started working on your next album? I'm not really working on an album right now. I'm kind of at an in-between point. For the first time in my career, I can honestly say that I don't know what's next. For the past couple of months, I wasn't even making music. Now I'm starting to make beats again. I'm not really working on any J-Zone albums right now. I don't have any plans in the future for that at all. I'm just focusing on production and some behind-the-scenes shit. I want to do some production for someone new that's hungry. I would love to follow up with another Bo$$ Hog album, but that's up to Celph. I'm not saying a new J-Zone album wouldn't happen, but just not right this minute. I'm trying to get some new TV commercials until I figure out what's next for me. Did "A Job Ain't Nothin' But Work" do well for you? Yes and no. To this day, it's still my favorite J-Zone record out of all of them. It was a great success in that I was trying to get a lot of guests on it and they all flaked out on me except Devin the Dude. I had to come out and carry the weight myself. The rappers weren't coming through and I had to get the record done. The pressure was on my shoulders and I feel that I delivered a record that I still enjoy, from the beats to the concepts…It was a personal success and it was a critical success. I got great reviews and great feedback from industry people. I sent a copy to Devin and he called me back saying he loved it. Prince Paul told me it was hilarious. It wasn't really a big success in terms of sales. It wasn't a success online. It got panned on message boards, but I'm not really concerned with that because people on message boards will never be happy. Whatever you do, they'll always have something to say about it. Those opinions don't really matter to me, but in terms of internet buzz and sales, it didn't do well. Everybody at Fat Beats wishes it sold better, but I'm not going to complain about it. I still love that record. If I was going to the grave tomorrow, I'd want to be remembered for that, Bo$$ Hog, and maybe "Tu Madre" because that was my first. Are you still as icy as you were for our last interview? Nah. I'm pretty icy if you look at the Bo$$ Hog cover. I'm very icy. I had to take some of it to the pawn shop. Times are getting hard. How much did your chain cost? I kind of had somebody steal that one for me. I had a crack-head snatch it off somebody for me. I'm working on getting in touch with Baby so I could get one of his old ones. Maybe he'll give me a hand-me-down. What kind of rims do you have? I got some 47" spokes on my Protégé. I just put another one on my unicycle. There's only one rim so it's all good. It plays "I'd Rather Give You My Bitch" by Suga Free. Have girls been feeling Captain Backslap lately? No. I don't have no love for these broads and they don't have no love for me, so fuck it. I'm trying to make my money. I always get crazy broads. I always wind up pulling women that are psychos and have baggage. Right now, I'm just trying to focus on me nad my career and my everyday life. I'm not trying to get caught up in that other shit right now. I'm at a point in my life where I'm trying to make decisions and I don't need girls calling me twelve times a day. Call me when you get yourself together, bitch. I'm not getting involved with any drama. The motto for 2006 is "Don't Holla." That's the motto. When I go up in the club, "don't holla." Let her holler at me. I play defense. I don't play offense. What advice do you have for guys going through girl problems? Money is a problem. A girl's not going to stop you from getting kicked out of your house, so focus on your money. We all go through it. Listen to "Hog Luv" and you'll see what we're talking about. It's an exaggeration, obviously, but I would say 90% of the girls I've been with have been trouble and brought me nothing but grief. I'm going to be selfish and focus on me and hopefully it will happen one day when I'm not trying. I'm on some selfish shit right now. What's going on with the Knicks right now? Oh no! You did not say the Knicks! All I want to know is how can you win a championship with a five-guard offense? That's what I want to know. They have six guards and they have no pure point guard. They're all point/shooting guards. They're all overpaid. They have the highest paid team in the NBA and they're ranked last. Eddy Curry is just a fat whopper. He has no purpose. They should have kept Mike Sweetney. Who has the crack-pipe at MSG? Who's in charge of this shit? You have a whole bunch of guards and then you sign more guards. They acquire a guard who's just like Marbury who's just like Crawfrod who's just like Robinson…and who is Mo Taylor? Who's that? What is this? It's disgusting. I really, honestly think the New York Liberty would give these guys a run out of the gym. I really think the Knicks could be in the WNBA and go .500. I'm not even trying to be funny. That is the most estrogen-charged team in the league. Marbury's a buster. He's lost all of my respect. Steve Francis is a crybaby, and the rest of the guys don't even fit. It's disgusting. I'm really considering moving for other reasons, but one of my top five reasons for moving is the Knicks. The Hawks may not be that good but at least they try. We're in the basketball capitol of the world and we're last. I'm about to get on the A-train and go down there and start busting some heads. It's disgusting. Who's going to win it all this year? The obvious answer is Detroit, but I'm going to go out on a limb because I'm a risk-taker, and I'm going to say the Mavericks. I wouldn't be surprised if San Antonio won, but you can't count out Dallas with the defense they're playing right now. What do you want to say to your fans? Buy Bo$$ Hog so I can get a new house and get my car out of the shop. And buy Bo$$ Hog so I can move out of the US and find me a real women instead of these internet knucklehead, chickenhead bitches with jail records. And thank you for the support.

By Brian Kayser

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